| Lady Lionel Van Flone Homepage | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hey Hey dudes - welcome to the website of Commander Lionel Van Flone. We hope you have a most pleasant stay here. For any information vis-a-vis this website, please email the Webmaster, Seargent Van Oppenheimer, and he will get back to you. NOTICE - THIS HOMEPAGE IS ENTIRELY FICTITIOUS IN NATURE. Characters depicted herein are not based on real life figures in any way. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental, and the makers of this site abdicate all responsibility for this. The Webmaster cannot be held responsible for any discomfort caused by this website. Any problems - again email Seargent Van Oppenheimer. THANKS. NOW KICK BACK AND ENJOY THE RIDE. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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HEY HO PEOPLE - My name is Seargent Van Oppenheimer and on behalf of Commander Lady Lionel Van Flone of the Civilian militia, I would like to officially welcome you here to the Lionel Van Flone website. FIRSTLY, let me tell you a little about Lady Lionel the woman. Born in Wee Waa in 1962, Lionel was the daughter of two trannies who met in the bar of the Wee Waa hotel. Growing up in regional New South Wales, Lionel received a state education, followed by a university degree at Lakemba Community College. She was made Lady Lionel by Her Majesty the Queen after she ran a successful bordello in Sydney for many years. Lady Lionel became a lecturer, and moved to a career in the Civilian Milita, where she was appointed first a Colonel, then Commander. She currently is a member of the Van Gang, holding the position of Vice President. NEWS FLASH FROM THE DESK OF THE SHOMORC MAVERICK GROUP - A decision was handed down earlier this week by the High Commissionaire for SHOMORC, announcing that the SRC elections are to be henceforth abolished and a new hierarchical system is to be instigated. The new system will emerge as a powerful force within the Campus. Madame President of the Vans, Genie VJ, is furious at the decision of SHOMORC, and has ordered her Commander Van Flone to prevent further action by the rebels. Commander Flone and Mel. B. will find their position as SRC commandants sorely tested in coming weeks as they prepare for the takeover challenge. "You boofheads" screamed Genie VJ. "You have the attention span of artichokes". "Look, extract the digit from the rectum", said Van Hatone, "Im not your mate!!!!!" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| VIRUS SPREADS WITH A VENGEANCE!!!!!! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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An official warning has been issued by Madame President of the Van Gang, Lady Genie VJ, regarding the infectious nature of trumpets in the local area. Several Vans have been infected with an new strain of the Immunodeficiency virus, which spreads on the mouthpieces of certain musical instruments (mainly brass). Madame Barramundi, however, vehemently denies any suggestion that the virus eminates from her department. "When you have all these people here, its little wonder that the virus is rife. Why cant we just exterminate them? Mooooooo" said the Madame this morning in an unintelligible statement. Madame Barramundi has been having serious problems recently, this is perhaps an indication of how far the virus has progressed into her systems. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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